Being single is rubbish

Having been an increasingly reluctant “serial monogamist” through most of my adult life, I have found the last year of being single yet again particularly depressing. Each relationship dissolves or collapses after anything from a few months to two or three years, and I often have to spend at least a year recovering and building up my confidence again. Apart from anything else, this is exhausting. I guess it’s some consolation that a lot of people are in the same boat these days.

What really pisses me off is that I seem to have less and less of a clue as to how to stop this happening – I’m not getting any younger. For a long time I’ve been very aware of the many issues from my messy childhood, and how these may obviously have set unhealthy patterns or fears about commitment. I believe I have dealt with these to the best of my ability – I have been up for long-term commitment for ages now – but it just doesn’t work out. Incompatibility of one kind or another seem to rear its head every time. Perhaps I am over-sensitive in some ways, but knowing that doesn’t seem to help.

Moan, moan, moan! I wouldn’t mind so much if I had some family support but there’s often not been much going on there either (only child, severely troubled soul for a mother, often unsupportive father, you get the idea… lovely stepmother though!). Thank God for my wonderful friends, they really help keep me alive. Astrologically, perhaps I’ll feel better when Saturn has moved away from my 7th house Moon next month.